I’m No Prom Queen

I know I’m getting a little bit ahead of myself given that I still have 1 more trimester of school, but I’m starting to feel like I’m done already. Mostly because this past weekend I attended my “university prom”.  Yes, I know University doesn’t normally have prom, but MUIC seems to do it’s own thing when it comes to a lot of things.

Anyways, this night was rather interesting. Aside from the presence of Johnnie Walker Black Label placed openly on the tables, in many ways it was just like high school; a lot of fake rhinestones & satin, awkward dancing and weird music. But above all, it involved friendly faces and great friends.

However, for me this evening posed a series of seriously unanticipated emotions. Mostly, I just felt old. Not so much in a bad way like I’m nostalgic for my ending youth, but mostly I felt really comfortable with myself.

I don’t know about you guys, but when I finished high school I was still pretty lost. I’m not sure if it’s because I was a late developer or what, but I had no clue who I was. I can’t quite remember which phase I was in, I just know it wasn’t “Elise”. Around the time of my high school graduation, I was still influenced greatly by my peers and what people thought of me. I was constantly agreeing with those around me simply because I wanted to be liked. I wanted to be accepted. In fact, I HAD to be accepted. If I didn’t feel like I was a part of something, then I was nothing. That’s how my high school prom was.

But then my university prom happened and I realized just how far I had come. To begin, my preparation went terribly. We all know that how a girl looks at prom is basically as important as life itself. Having said that, you might think that the series of unfortunate events I encountered would have posed a disaster. Although this is something that probably would have been true in high school, for me this was no longer the case.

To begin, the makeup lady took my request for a smokey eye very seriously. By the time I had left the Illamasqua counter at Central Chitlom, I was being stared at more than I ever had before. I know I walked around Bangkok dressed as a dragqueen, but this situation literally felt more awkward. As I was riding home on the sky train because no taxi would take me, I literally made a small girl cry. That is how much black eye makeup I had on.

Finally I get home to put on my dress. I knew my dress was big, but I didn’t realize just how bad it was. As I got it back from the dry cleaners and went to put it on, I realized that I probably wouldn’t make it through the night without it falling to my ankles.

So there I was, a few minutes before party time and I was a raccoon. Not just any raccoon, a naked raccoon. I had nothing to wear. My eyes hurt from a makeup overdose. Not to mention my nails matched a dress that didn’t fit me.

After some seriously scratchy q-tip action on my eyes and one lucky spur of the moment Greyhound dress randomly purchased a few days earlier, I was ready to go.

But this is when it gets really good.

My phone rings, I think it’s my friends saying they’re here to get me. But instead they inform me they haven’t even left. They were still in Salaya, it’s over an hour away. They were too busy drinking beer to inform me they weren’t leaving to get me.

So here I was, ready to go to prom and I basically got stood up. If it had been high school and a real date, I probably would have cried. It literally felt like one of those movies when the girl gets totally stood up on prom night and it’s basically the end of the world.

But the most surprising part was that I was totally fine. I realized I didn’t care what I was wearing, if it was prom appropriate or not. I liked my simple dress and that’s all that mattered. I did not have to stand out, I did not have to look special, I just had to wear something that felt like it was me. If my friends were late and therefore I was late, it was fine. I could wait, it isn’t that important. What was I really missing? Absolutely nothing.

When I finally got to prom I realized that the night itself didn’t even matter. It wasn’t about how great my dress was, how many friends I had or how fun the party seemed. For me this night represented something else entirely. In reality, prom is just about the accomplishment I had made. It was another step in the journey of life and that is what’s truly important. I had worked hard, I was being me and that’s all I really needed.

For me, University prom was special because I finally realized that I had gained some perspective about what’s truly important in life. At the end of the day things such as prom dresses and gel nails really don’t matter, it’s just about who I am and how I feel about myself. It may sounds trivial, but to be able to say that I was happy just “being me” was one of my proudest moments to date.

Unfortunately I don’t have any better pictures. But here are some photos of my look for the night. I wore a dress from Playhound by Greyhound and Louboutin Pigalles. I had smokey eye makeup and a “wet hair” look for the first time in my life that I’m still not sure how I feel about.

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    1. Aw, thanks lovely friend! Yah, if one more thing had gone wrong I probably would have forgot about prom completely. I’m glad you enjoyed the post. You’re right, growing up is weird but it feels good! By the way, so glad to have you in my life. Your positive outlook is inspiring!

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